Erica Tucci

Do you feel fully worthy as a woman? What does it mean to you to be a woman? This is a question I ask my clients who participate in my Yin Radiance: The Journey to Inner Balance program. It is a question that I myself found difficult to answer when I filled out the questionnaire that begins my program. The questionnaire helps to trigger an inner dialogue to discover who you are and who you want to be. The reason I found it such a challenge to answer that question as well as the others was because I hadn’t really thought about who I was as a woman. I didn’t really know of my full worth as a woman. But through my own journey to inner balance, I have begun to get clarity on what it really means to me to be a woman and what I really have to offer.

What has happened in our world for centuries is that our womanhood has been defined by the male principles. Women have been demeaned by men for eons. We have been subjugated to their will, having to live according to their law. They have defined how we are to act, how to look, how to behave, how much money we can make, what kinds of careers we should have, what we should do in our lives, etc. But it is not their right to dictate who we are as women. We must redefine who we are according to our own sacred feminine principles.

Let’s take a look at the most prevalent circumstances that reveal how strongly the masculine principles have had a stranglehold on our womanliness—in relationships and in our professional endeavors—and to see how we need to believe in our own worthiness as women, as we have great gifts to offer the universe. I wish to share my own personal experiences about this feminine state of affairs as I believe that, although my stories may have different scenarios than other women’s, the fundamental theme is the same.

After I got divorced and began dating again, I fell into the dark side of relationships in which I became a pawn for men. I subjugated myself, accommodating their needs and desires, with the hope of receiving what I deeply desired…love and commitment. But what I experienced were empty encounters, devoid of any feeling or emotion or sense of commitment. I was “prostituting” myself for love out of my lack of self-worth. It all culminated in the most recent affair I had with a man who promised me the world of love and happiness and commitment, and then reneged. But what also happened was that this pattern of repetitive behavior of succumbing to the whims of men was finally broken. As I had become so deeply committed to finding out who I was as a woman, I finally broke the shackles of male domination by which I had been enslaved. I was released from the masculine indoctrination of women simply being chattel. The tainted elixir that I had drunk for so many years no longer affected me. No longer would I allow any man to treat me as I had been, as I now valued myself as a sacred female, deeply connected to Spirit with a beautiful destiny to fulfill.

Now to play out the other scenario in which our sense of worthiness has also been compromised, I would like to ask a few questions. Have you ever been frustrated that your salary as a corporate “cog” is dictated by the corporate engine? That you may have little control of how much you can make as a salaried employee? That, although you may hold a similar position as that of a male counterpart, you may be making less than he is? That it’s not always about what you have to offer, but where you fit in the corporate machine? That you are often exploited for the good of the company? That your interests or desires of movement within a company are not always considered? But on the other hand, if you have owned or do own your own business, have you ever felt uncomfortable charging for your services as you didn’t feel you were qualified or good enough to be paid for them? That you should just be giving your services away? That you don’t deserve to make a lot of money? Is it that you don’t feel your services are worthy enough to have a high monetary value? Now isn’t that a Divine Dichotomy, where two contradictory truths exist at the same time? On one hand, your value is controlled by the monolithic male-directed institute…the corporation. On the other hand where you have total control of your own value, you might feel that your offerings aren’t worthy of great financial status. Would a man in the same situation feel the same way? I think not. I will admit that I have been enmeshed in this state of contradiction in which I have felt  that my status as a corporate manager is not fully valued, and yet as I develop my own business, I have experienced twinges of fear that my services and products don’t carry a high value or a high status. Again, would a man feel this way? And of course, money is not the only means of placing value on something but if the demand for your services is great, then that is a good indication that its monetary value may also be great. And that you are very worthy of realizing the abundance you deserve.

I’m not saying that all women experience either of these situations, but I do believe that we are in a very influential time in our lives in which we as women are rising to our own sense of inner power and are firmly grounding ourselves and creating the deep roots needed to supplant the suffocating weeds of masculine rule and its detrimental effects it has had on our universe. Where there is hatred, we are instilling love; where there is violence, we are creating peace; where there is greed, we are invoking moderation; where there is pain, we are promoting healing; where there is corruption, we are speaking truth; where there is dissent, we are calling for unity; where there is imbalance, we are seeking stability. It is our time to unleash our full worthiness as women.