Erica Tucci

I know this may sound crazy to some, but I am glad I had a stroke. “How can that be?” you might ask, thinking of how debilitating a stroke can be. Well, first let me step back to the day I had my stroke and then elaborate on why I consider my condition to be a gift from the heavens.

On June 10, 2011, as you might know, I was getting ready to go to work, when I collapsed onto the floor and couldn’t get up. Of course, at first I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was wrong. I was completely coherent but I just couldn’t lift myself up off the floor. Fortunately, I was rushed to the hospital immediately and within an hour or so, I was administered the tPA medicine, the clot blaster that saved my life. I had had an ischemic stroke caused by a blood clot that passed through a hole on my heart and landed in my brain. It left my right side completely paralyzed. I would have been a vegetable, not being able to talk, walk, swallow, write or think clearly. But the clot blaster minimized the effects of the stroke, only leaving me with hemiplegia. I remember thinking that Spirit was with me on that special day (as it always is), and has since guided me through my journey of recovery, through the ups and downs and the twists and turns.

My life, of course, has changed drastically. Before the stroke, I was a corporate manager of a Fortune 500 company, a healing arts business owner (I was a Reiki master, massage therapist and life coach) and an author working 80 hours a week. Yes, it was crazy working like that and that’s why Spirit decided to bonk me on the head to knock some sense into me, a stroke being my prize. Couldn’t it have been a little kinder, you might ask?

The way I look at it is this…Sometimes it takes a mighty big blow to make you realize that the direction you are going in your life has gotten you off the path that you’re supposed to be on. So to get you back on track, you are confronted with some major challenge, such as a stroke. It’s like a reboot of your life. But as I said, I believe my circumstance was by the grace of God, because it put me on the right path.

Has it been easy? Heck no! I’ve had some really wild things happen that made me question whether or not I would get well. From the time I had my stroke up until April 2013, I was in rehab 3 x a week and exercising 2-3 x a week. But in April 2013, my body started taking a nosedive where I couldn’t even get off the couch (which had become my haven). Finally, after seeing my doctor in October, I found out that my thyroid had gone completely whacko… so bad that my doctor told me I shouldn’t even be alive. I finally got my thyroid under control but I had lost almost a year of rehab and exercising, which as you know, is detrimental for someone recovering from a stroke. But that’s when I gained the biggest pearl of wisdom that made me listen to what Spirit was trying to tell me. I realized that I was still operating from my old “driven” mindset – do, do, do, workout, workout, workout. The biggest message was SURRENDER…LET GO AND LET GOD! Know that the Power that created our bodies can heal our bodies. We must do our part in our recovery, being “co-creators” of our lives, but we must also have faith that Spirit “has our back” and will guide us down our life path to wherever it wishes to take us.

In order for me to pull myself out of my old frenetic way of thinking and living, I had to be pulled to the opposite extreme, which was to do NOTHING. Sometimes the pendulum has to swing from one extreme to the other before it can finally settle in the middle where there is balance. I know that this may sound insane to some since you may feel that the only way one can recover physically from a stroke is through a rigorous program of rehab and exercise…to reconnect the pathways between the brain, nerves and muscles. But for me, healing entailed the opposite – doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING until I could make the psychological shift from “doing” to “being”. Then and only then would I see my body heal to the extent that it could. So I succumbed to nothingness until I felt I could begin again.

I have since resumed my rehab and exercise but at a much slower pace. I only go to rehab once a week and yoga once a week, with a sprinkle of swimming and walking thrown in for good measure. I am 85 – 90 % recovered with full recovery on the horizon. I do believe that I will reach my goal because of my faith in myself and the Powers that be. I have been doing my part in my recovery, namely allowing myself to be guided by Spirit, knowing that I really don’t have control of the outcome. I am letting my life flow organically, not how I think it should flow.

It’s like a river…it flows naturally, and when it comes upon craggy rocks, it doesn’t resist; it just flows over them or around them. This is how I choose to live my life now and I am so much happier. I know that anything I do now in my life is something that comes from that divine spark within me and is helping me to fulfill my purpose in life.