Erica Tucci

I am a bit scared! I woke up the other morning out of breath. You see, for the past six or so months my breathing has been labored. It’s an effect of my stroke, but it only recently has become severe to the point of preventing me from doing rehab or any exercise or even the lightest activities.

Of course, my first thought was “do I have what my father had?” My dad died at 50 of emphysema, not from smoking, but from a genetic birth defect. However, I know that I haven’t inherited his condition, that my labored breathing is a physical manifestation of my emotional state. When I get overwhelmed with emotions, it is based on the fear of not being able to fully recover, of being “stuck” in my current situation forever.

Do you ever get in a rut where you feel that life just isn’t fair? Perhaps you feel like a failure in one way or another, or maybe in all aspects of your life. What do you do when you are in this mindset, possibly tumbling further and further down into the abyss with the feeling that you’ll never be able to find your way out?

Here are some of the things I do when my emotions are raw and I feel like I can’t continue in the state I am in. I’m sure several of these suggestions are ones you are familiar with and have possibly tried before. If you haven’t, check them out to see if they help you in any way. What works for one may not work for another. We all have to find the techniques and tools that work for us.

Meditation, of course – I have done Transcendental Meditation since I was 14. My mom forced me to be initiated and when I first started, I would just sit in my room for the allotted 20 minutes just to make Mom think I was meditating. Ha! ha! I started taking it seriously when I went to college, and I try to meditate regularly now. It is very calming and relaxing and has a vast number of benefits on all levels: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes I am in such a state of tranquility when I meditate, I don’t want to come out of it.

Connect with nature in some way – That may mean taking a walk outside; barefoot is best so that you can receive the energy from the Earth. Did you know that contact with Earth helps to uphold the electrical stability of our bodies, thus providing a foundation for vitality and health? Or if you have animals, you may want to talk with them, play with them, “dance” with them or just snuggle with them. Hug a tree! Plant a garden. Whatever way that allows you to come into contact with the natural world. Remember, we are part of the natural world and we should communicate with it as much as we can.

Get your body moving – Even if you are wheelchair bound. I’m not talking about exercise as much as spontaneous movement. Turn some music on and start dancing around your house. If you are bold enough, why not dance your way outside, under the sun or in the rain? If you are physically disabled, just sway your body to the music the best you can, allowing the mobile parts of your body to move freely. Of course, for some, regular exercise is therapeutic and helps to breakthrough any emotional upheaval.

Do something different – It could be as simple as having tea instead of coffee. I walk around my neighborhood following a specific path. When I am in the mood to do something different, I will turn and go in the opposite direction or take another path. If you’re a late riser, why not wake up an hour earlier? If you take showers normally, why not take a bath instead? If you are a shower singer, why not taking real singing lessons? Or maybe you would like to learn salsa. So what’s stopping you? Just find something that isn’t part of your normal routine, something that might be a spark of inspiration that could pull you from the claws of despair.

Allow yourself to have an emotional breakdown – In other words, when something has knocked you to your knees and you find it hard to pull yourself back up, allow yourself to really feel what you are going through. If you need to cry big crocodile tears, do it! If you need to scream at the top of your lungs, do it (of course, away from others)! Many years ago, I was in therapy where we would scream into a pillow. It was cathartic. Now when I’m at my wits end, I scream in my car. Poor car…that it has to be the brunt of my anger. One thing though, don’t stay stuck in your sorrow. After a huge crying jag where I’m crying my heart out, I usually am able to get my bearings and calm down. Oftentimes, having a “temporary” breakdown is just what you needed. It’s like a purging, a letting go of the gremlins that have a hold of you. If you can’t seem to pull yourself out of your funk, you may need to see a therapist who can help you.

Take a break! – I have learned that when I am really burdened and antsy about what I may be going through and I feel that I need to “do” something to make things better, the best thing is to DO NOTHING, absolutely nothing. If you are like me before my stroke, you probably spent a lot of time trying to be in control of every aspect of your life. But you know what? You really have much less control than you think. Perhaps you are spinning your wheels…but for what? It’s time to slow down and get off the treadmill of life for a while. Stop and smell the orchids! (I’m tired of roses and orchids are just as fragrant.) Get some R & R. Don’t be hard on yourself. Let go and unstress. The “stressors’ will be there when you get back on the treadmill, but if you’ve really taken some time for yourself, you may see things from a different perspective and find yourself going at a slower pace.

And my last and final suggestion, which really isn’t a suggestion as much as a question to ask yourself: Can you accept and love yourself just as you are right now at this very moment? – That’s a tough one for many of us. I remember when I was having a BodyTalk session about a year ago, the therapist asked me if I could accept myself as I was then. It was about 2 ½ years after my stroke and about 80% into my recovery, but still having difficulty with acceptance of my situation. When I pondered the question, I had a hard time answering it. It’s hard to accept something that has turned your world upside down. BUT when you do, that’s when your world turns right side up. And when you can love yourself just as you are, really love yourself, that’s when things in your world seem to become more radiant. It’s as if you are shining a brilliant light outwardly and everything you touch begins to shimmer.

If you are facing a life challenge right now, big or small, I hope my suggestions in some small way help you out of the rut you may have fallen into. It can be a big challenge to face the gremlins and triumph over them. But it can be done!

And if you need support, I am here for you. Being a life coach and Tarot reader, I can offer you some further guidance, if you wish. Click here to contact me.